Merry December!

Today marks the first day of Hanukkah, and tomorrow the first day of Winter, and then, on Saturday, there is Christmas Eve and in the morning, Christmas Day, and right on its heels, Kwanzaa. For weeks now, we have been offering up our vague but heartfelt holiday wishes longing, in this final month of the calendar year, to be festive without offending. For many I’m sure, chirping “Happy Holidays” feels just right, but for me it’s come to sound a bit shallow, a shopping bag wish, and in some ways, a sell-out of my own faith. Still, I’m no fan of the alternative suggested strongly in certain Christian circles: shouting “Merry Christmas” to anyone and everyone in the hopes of regaining supremacy over the season. It doesn’t matter that Christmas was “the first” holiday of the season, or that the others were elevated to a status beyond their own cultural or religious importance just to get a seat at the holiday table. As a professional communicator I can tell you that using “Merry Christmas” as your default greeting is simply the wrong message. A greeting is a gift to the recipient. To wish a Jewish or agnostic friend a “Merry Christmas” is just bad manners, possibly even antagonistic—- like greeting a devout Angels fan with “Go Blue!” It does not make one a better Christian, just a less thoughtful member of a pluralistic society.

Now, if I know someone is a practicing Jew, and if I see them during these eight days of the Festival of Lights, I will joyfully wish them “Happy Hanukkah” because it celebrates what they celebrate. If I had a close friend who celebrated Kwanzaa, I might do the same, but Kwanzaa is not a religious holiday and most of the people who celebrate it also celebrate Christmas. (I tend to think of it as an “insiders” celebration the experience of which would not heightened by an unfamiliar white woman’s well wishes). As for Muslim holidays, since they are set by a lunar calendar, they have yet to get a real toehold in the season: I’m not sure if they even want one but for now our Muslim friends are, greetings-wise, lumped in with the secularists and the Buddhists and Hindis and all the other wonderful souls we have gathered together here in America in the year 2011, united by a love of freedom and a desire to share year-end wishes of goodwill to all.

So here’s what I’m thinking:

*If you know what someone is and what they believe, by all means, wish them that specific thing. It is infinitely more meaningful than something generic.

*On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, feel abundantly free to say “Merry Christmas,” because that is, in fact, the celebration of the day. Non-believing friends with generous hearts can let the sentiment cross their lips, as well.

*When you don’t know what someone is or what they celebrate, wish them a “Merry December.” It is, after all, the one thing we all have in common, this shared space and time. If you are a Christian, it takes nothing away from your own beliefs and, perhaps, in its good-natured approach, creates an opening in a willing heart.

And with that I wish all my Jewish friends a Happy Hanukkah!

And to all my Christian friends, a blessed Advent!

And to all my undeclared or otherwise-occupied friends, a Merry December!

Merry Christmas coming soon…
Heather

Pax

For over a decade I’ve been signing a good deal of my personal correspondence with the word Pax, which is Latin for peace. I had seen it embossed in gold on thick, creme note cards when I was in Florence and it took hold of me somehow. I never made the connection until just this morning with the poem of the same name that I discovered when I was working on The Renaissance Service, a one-of-a-kind vespers that looked to the arts as a window to the divine. This short verse by D. H. Lawrence seems like the perfect anthem for these slow, nesting days that lead us deeper into winter and ever closer to Him.

PAX

All that matters is to be at one with the living God
To be a creature in the house of the God of Life.

Like a cat asleep on a chair
at peace, in peace
and at one with the master of the house, with the
mistress
at home, at home in the house of the living,
sleeping on the hearth, and yawning before the fire.

Sleeping on the hearth of the living world,
yawning at home before the fire of life
feeling the presence of the living God
like a great reassurance
a deep calm in the heart
a presence
as of a master sitting at the board
in his own and greater being,
in the house of life.

May your heart know pax this day
Heather

Thank you, John Patrick Shanley

I find inspiration in many unlikely places. This morning on Facebook there was a quote by the playwright John Patrick Shanley. It was posted by an actress who is deeply committed to teaching theater in New York. I met her this year at a reading: she brought a wonderful short, short story and I read some passages from my new book, Elijah & the SAT. I smiled when I saw that the quote was from Shanley because my daughter has been assigned one of his scenes for her acting class. I’ve been trying to track down an old copy of Moonstruck all week so she can see how his gift of language plays out in a larger work.

I don’t know if it was his intention but Shanley has, in this short verse, captured the essence of Advent. In theological lingo, we would say it is a conversational way of delineating the blessing of repentance. Repentance or, turning your back on old ways, is part of the gift of Advent. We will ourselves to let go of the dark things that cling to prepare out hearts for a new joy to come, the joy of Emmanuel, which means “God with us.” This is an idea that has deep roots in the Judeo-Christian tradition. For many, the beauty of repentance has been ruined by too many extremists using all the wrong words, in the wrong tone and spirit, to communicate about the love of God that comes to us in Jesus. But just as the wrong words can close the door, the right ones, fresh ones, inspired ones, can open it again.

Thank you, JP Shanley, for these wise words:

“Run the old stuff down, run it out, toss the weight of trash in your heart into the fire. December is the ruthless month. Pick up all your heartbreak and fling it out the window. Call everybody. Make peace and move on. Let those who wish to linger, let them linger and grieve. They will run and catch up to you if you move on. You are the leader when it comes to joy. Move forward towards joy.”

Preparing for joy,
Heather

Which one are you?

We are not so distant from the Christmas story, you and I. Today I offer up this work as an icon, a meditation on love, peace, and the power of God newly born in our lives. May it bring you joy this day.

“The Adoration of the Shepherds” by Georges de La Tour, c. 1640

Entrance Requirements

This time of year so many long to find a way to enter the Christmas story but cannot. This poem by Mary Oliver, from her book Dream Work, may open a door. I hope so….

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Blessings on this December day
Heather